Okay.

So the super awesome Wonderland hat I was making?

Turned out, it was so colorful, it became a gay rights hat. I've a third of a mind to send it to a gay performance artist that came to campus, a second third to save it for the Day of Silence, and a third third (haha) to have the gay character, Peter, wear it in his coming out scene in the show. I have to say, the third third is by FAR my favorite. Even so, I made another hat in a different color scheme of the same brand of yarn with the same pattern, and that is much more Wonderland-y. Not to mention, I could actually wear that one out in everyday use. Which is always good.

As I'm sure everyone can tell, I am super super excited for Alice! I'm meeting my friend Juliet and some of HER friends to see the movie later on tonight. I don't think I'll be getting back to campus til 1 or so, but I can't wait! Plus, tomorrow's Saturday so I'm allowed to sleep in. ;) Another truth: I'm excited to hang out with someone without the show being the majority of our conversation. I don't have to bring my prompt book along, I can drop the title of Stage Manager for a night.. oh, happy happy day!!!!

The show is taking a LOT out of me. A lot a lot a lot. And I don't know if anyone is noticing or caring. I've been close to breaking down a few times in the past few weeks. But I have to swallow that lump in my throat, determine that the director's getting less sleep than I am, that the actors are still memorizing, that the other production team people HAVE to be as busy as I am or they would offer to HELP..... and go back to normal. I like my sanity. I'd like to keep it.

It's hard, though. I was chewed out twice this week. One was partly my fault, the other was NOT AT ALL. 1. I got excited when an actor did something right and made a fuss. Director made me feel an inch tall. 2. An actor was late and didn't notify me. As I'm getting a hold of her, director made me feel an inch tall. That was not a good night.

I'm gonna break away from Heidi conversation, or I'm going to cry again.

I admit I'm not a girly girl by any real stretch of the imagination. Pink is seventh on my list of favorite colors (tying with yellow... the only one to come after that is orange). I have no skirts here at school, and only a few at home. When I look at actors, I look more at talent and versatility than looks. Hence why Johnny Depp is shown in my room twice (as Jack Sparrow and Sweeney Todd). Sure, he's handsome, but I appreciate how good he is at his profession more than I do his looks.

That being said, I do love being romanced. Wooed. Made to feel special. I love making an effort to look good or do little things to/for Ernest to, if not help, let him know that I'm there to share the burden. If all else fails, I'm there to vent at.

THAT being said, (and this is directed at EVERYONE), I am sympathetic. I am your friend. I am there if you need me. BUT I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. Keep in mind that I am lending my ear to you. Do not make me deaf, metaphorically speaking. If I am your problem, let me know, and we will deal with it together. Whether that means avoiding one another (as I determined to be the problem with a friend a few months ago) or working things out so we're strong again, LET ME KNOW.



Well. That certainly came off different than how I planned. My main point was going to be how I enjoy feeling special in the way I hopefully make others feel. But that does not make my caps-lock bit moot. Not. At. All.

So, my four readers (that I know of).... thoughts? Advice? Don't leave a girl stranded here...

All the best-