Goodness gracious!

It's been almost two months since I updated?! :O Oops!

What's been going on? Well, I'll be going a bit out of order, but....

1. I auditioned for the spring Production.
2. I did not get in. :( More about this later.
3. Ernest and I celebrated our year anniversary. <3
4. I saw Idina Menzel perform live! Hooooooooooly crap!
5. I saw Raul Esparza and Brooke Shields in "Leap of Faith", down at the Ahmanson. I really hope it goes to Broadway. It was really good!
6. I've started knitting Christmas gifts for my roomies. I have no idea what to get Ernest for Christmas, and it's driving me a little crazy.
7. There have been multiple "Pablo" moments. More about Pablo later.
8. I have connected with a couple of girls in my acting class about the amazing and supermegafoxyawesomehot Darren Criss. We got tickets to see him!!


Okay, more in detail.
The spring production was The Donner Party Cycle, written by one of the faculty here, Mr. Bob Mayberry. It's about the Donner Party and their journey - I had never learned about the Donner Party in school, so getting the information this late in life about potential cannibals was like WHOA. You know? So anywho, I went to the history and reading session, I talked to him before that all happened about the show, I chose a more serious monologue for Acting class so I could get accustomed to not being a more silly character... and I nailed my audition. You know the feeling when you're like, "oh, I could have done better at x, y, and z"? That didn't come up at all. And that ALWAYS comes up. So when I got the email last week with my name NOT on the cast list.. well, to be quite frank, I started questioning everything. Myself, my intuition, even if this was the right field for me to go into. Especially since there is a very good possibility that I'm graduating in the fall and will not have another production to audition for.
The thing is, though, there is only ONE production a year here. I keep telling myself that out in the Real World, there are more opportunities... sure, there are more opportunities to get rejected, but at least I won't audition once and be done for a whole year. Like here. The thing is, this is the second production in two years that I haven't gotten in to. At least I was crew for the last one, as much as I hated being there and not on-stage. Don't get me wrong, stage manager was an amazing learning experience, and I wouldn't trade that. And for that audition, I DID have that niggling I don't think I did well feeling. But at least I was there, you know? .. But I'm just not in this one at all. Fuck.

About our anniversary: It was wonderful. We had talked it over like three weeks prior to October 18 and had thought that a picnic sounded really fun and easy to do. Unfortunately, the weather didn't like that plan, so picnic got canceled and I asked him to plan something. He came through great - we did a wonderful, traditional dinner and a movie. We went to Denny's down the road, where we went quite a bit last semester, and saw Despicable Me at the three dollar movie theater. Both instances were really fun! Definitely one of my better memories of this semester. <3

Idina! Holy shit she was amaaaaaaaaaaaazing. She performed at the Orange County Performing Arts Center for one show only, backed by like an entire symphony! She sang some Wicked and some Rent, then branched out into the song she sang for Glee, and some Barbra Streisand, and some old jazz and musical theatre classics. She had on this gorgeous purple evening gown - strapless, with it cinched at the waist with a shiny buckle type thing and the rest flowing down like some sort of Greek goddess' toga. She was barefoot. She also talked to the audience like we were all her new best friends, telling stories and getting sidetracked and everything. It was great!

"Leap of Faith" - based on the movie with Steve Martin, apparently. It was so cute! I read some reviews beforehand, so I'd know what we were getting in to (I've never seen the movie, but I am in love with Raul Esparza's voice. So there. LOL) and some reviews said that though they understood that the show was still in previews, it was sorely lacking in depth and depended too much on the star quality of the actors. I disagree. The relationships between Raul Esparza and Brooke Shields and Raul and his stage sister Kendra Kassebaum and between the choir - oh, I loved it! I can't wait to see it on the Tony's in a year or so! :P

Ah, yes, the necessary knitting post. Well, I've started making gifts for my roomies. Roomie A gets a lacy scarf in a blue/purple color scheme. It's about 2/3 done now, I think. Roomie B gets a lacier wrap in a very vibrant purple. It's a very easy pattern, and I think I'm about halfway done, maybe more. I haven't yet started on Roomie C's gift, but it's a cowl that is alternating all purl rows and all knit rows, in the round, and I don't foresee that being any problem. Sometime next week or something I'll just put in a movie, print out the pattern, and knit and watch/listen. My favorite knitting activity. :D

Oh, Pablo. <-- That has become a saying in my acting class. There's this guy (Peter) who can somehow get away with saying the raciest things EVER. (He freaking called me a ho and since it's him, I didn't get offended at all. ?!) Peter has somehow become Pablo Jebidiah Casanova over the course of the semester. So when he makes comments like "why is it dirty?" when asking our teacher the meaning behind our "quick and dirty warmups", we all start giggling and saying "oh, Pablo". I have to say, the Pablo moments are probably like.. twenty percent on why I look forward to acting so much. Other moments include: the aforementioned "ho" incident - "A missive.. like a letter... It has words??" - since he has a Hungarian accent, adding a redneck one to that is absolutely hysterical!!

More about my acting class, since I adore it so freaking much! I've made good friends with two girls, Laura and Neggin. I think the two of them connected over Glee, which I don't really watch at all... but suddenly Darren Criss from AVPM/AVPS got on it. And now the three of us are giggling up a storm about how talented/wonderful/cute/hot Darren is, especially in relationship to his partner on the show, Kurt. They have such a cute relationship! But the three of us always quote either his Glee scenes or AVPM/AVPS. Laura found that he will be playing in Hollywood the Saturday after finals, so we got up the courage and called in for tickets, and got them! So now we get to see the supermegafoxyawesomehot Darren live in person!! <3 Soooooo excited!

I think that's all the major things that have been happening this semester. I shall try to keep better updating habits in the future. :)

xoxo
Samantha

NOT COOL!!!

Okay. On facebook right now, there's a trend to put where you like to put your purse at the end of the day. I did one - on the floor, chair, bed. Whatever.
One of my roommates' friends replied - and I'm so totally quoting here - "I like breast cancer lol".

I do realize guys are more observant than I give them credit, and the fact that it's breast cancer awareness month and suddenly all the girls are doing these kinds of statuses...
but this is so not cool
I'm pretty much trembling right now. I can't even tell if it's from rage or cold. Probably a combination of both. I'm not even opening my mouth right now for fear that I'll either start cursing my computer out or cry. This hits home far far too much and I cannot believe what just happened.

fuck.

A Mixed Bag Day

Just as the title says... Today has been all over the place.

First... class. In and of itself, this is a shitty thing. It's at ten in the morning on a Friday. I've not had a Friday class since high school, so it's been quite a shock to my system. Then coming back here and going out to lunch with two of my roomies (Roomie A is out of town; I went with B and C)... very good! Then going to a yarn store for fun/Christmas gifts/bday gift with Roomie B. From there, we went to the cupcakery across the plaza - oh my goodness, so decadent, but so good! From there, the mall. Where I:
a. liked a shirt in LoveCulture
b. was informed my iPod was toast
c. got a makeover, free of charge
d. found eyeshadow colors in Sephora that match some of my favorites, and a new brush - but I didn't have the money to get them.
Came back here, decided to do homework, and have since been on iTunes, cleaning my room, and finishing up fingerless gloves (of my own pattern! <3).
Now, I need to finish up that damn sock, get a header (haha!) on this hat pattern I've had my eye on for like a month (already got it started!) and throw out the trash.

Now if only my mom gets better tomorrow.. then I can go home and have a whole new set of things to do. <3

Samantha

Okay...

Just something to get off my chest. It's been bugging me for like a month and a half now.

I was on a job - Glee, if I remember right - and we were just sitting in holding. Again. So I bring out my knitting. It always brings out comments, but from the guy next to me:

"Oh my God!! What are you doing? Crocheting?!"
I correct him: it's knitting.

"Geez! That's so much worse! You're not a like eighty year old lady; you have no business doing that!"

What. The. FUCK?!

Has it really gotten in today's society that someone that isn't fully grown or an "eighty year old lady" can't enjoy a bit of craft work? How do these people think the eighty year old ladies whip out all the blankets and scarves and sweaters? It's not elementary stuff, Watson. It's fucking hard. They probably started when they were my age and advanced UNTIL they were able to get those projects out quickly for their significant other, then their children, then perhaps grandchildren. It's not like.. you turn a certain age, join AARP, and BAM! You know how to knit. Doesn't work that way, bucko.

Grr.

Sorry, this has been resting on me for a while. According to my calendar, since the beginning of August, apparently. And I'm working on sock #2 still - I had to put it down. I dislike socks. Not because of the DPNs... I actually don't mind those. But because I have to make two of them. I know, I know, it sounds terrible. But if I could get away with having mismatched knitted socks the rest of my life, I totally would. But... I'm pretty much on the foot now, so easy going. Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.

Okie doke. Xoxoxo!

Samantha

Grr

I don't GET IT.

I'm using the same pattern. With the same measurements. (I took notes before, which made me so sure that this was the right pattern.

Yet this time the sock is looking a LOT smaller.

I really hope it will stretch with wear and wash. Cuz ... what good will it be otherwise to have two "matching" socks... with two different sizes?

*sigh* I've been working on this thing for like two and a half hours. I'm at the gusset... aka where the heel ends and the rest of the foot will begin. Lots of minor shaping and moving of stitches here.

I reeeeeeeeeally hope this will work! *end whining*

xoxo,
Samantha

YAY!

Over the summer, I made a sock.

That's right. Still only one.

I had gotten these great DPNs and this wonderful soft sock yarn at a store in Monterey. So I decided, what the hell, I'll try socks.

Now, these needles are TEENY. So when I had finished Sock Number One, I decided to take a break from straining my eyesight and go on to bigger needle projects. This would have been fine, but...

I lost the pattern.

Yeah. Not my best move, to be sure. Fortunately, it wasn't something I had paid for in a store or anything. It was a free pattern online at ravelry.com (I love ravelry!>

It was fairly easy to find on that page. It was the only one that had no lace or lattice work and was the right height. No knee socks for me; only ankle socks til I get more money so I can get more sock yarn!

So, end of the story: I found the pattern. Yay! Now: to not strain my vision as I work on these toothpick-wide-sized needles again! ;) Sock Number Two, coming right up! (I'll post a picture... hopefully y'all can help me if they should be called Mermaid socks or Mardi Gras socks. We'll see!)

xoxo,

Samantha

Nothing really of note..

To be honest, I have no reason to update right now except that it's been a while and I'm bored. I have class in two hours and nothing (sort of) to do.

I suppose I could start reading for Thursday and Friday, but I'm just .... eh. It's not what I want to do.

What do I want to do?

Hm.

-move around

-get air

-knit (duh)

-sing and dance around

-be productive

-go for a drive

Most of these things are at least somewhat active, a trait I seem to be lacking today. Maybe this is because I just got an email from my professor of my one class today and she says we'll be very physical today.

I also think I want to move around ... because I can't really right now. Yesterday, we went to the LA County Fair and as we were leaving, it felt like I pulled a muscle in the arch of my foot. It's felt better today, but I'm not looking forward to moving around past walking around the suite.

Uhhh... I have more thoughts in my head, I swear I do. I'm just censoring a lot.

And when did my blog become a place for me NOT to really rant and tell whoever's reading about my knitting, but instead a place of veiled ideas based on what's going on in life? Geez.

That's it from me now.

Samantha

Birthday Celebration Beginnings

Heyyy!

So it is two days before my birthday, and my parents and I got home from Disneyland about an hour ago. I just want to type it all down before it leaves my memory - these are the bare bones, I'll fill it in later.

1. Everything was in order for Club 33 and dinner there. (Yay!)

2. We got our locker. $7 is a lot, but it's really convenient to just open whenever you need it.

3. It was really really hot. Like, Arizona type of heat, in the way that it was dry. It wasn't all that humid. So at least we had that going for us.

4. I looked good today. Daytime: gray A&F shirt, brown knee length shorts. Hair in ponytail - scrunchie has a big bow on the back. Cute. Nighttime: Black halter dress. Hair up in clip.

5. We got tickets first thing for the 10:15 World of Color show. My parents stood in line for Soaring over California.

6. Went on ride. Got a little dizzy. Got over it. Went to the Hollywood section and did:

a. Monsters Inc. ride. Adorable.

b. the Animation building.

7. In Animation building:

a. Did the "who are you" quiz in the Beast's Library. I was Belle, Mom was Cinderella, and Gary decided to be funny and was the Wicked Witch from Snow White.

b. Did the karaoke bit in Ursula's Grotto. Sang Hakuna Matata. Mom and I sang for Timon and Simba, Gary did Pumbaa.

c. BEST PART. Saw the "Turtle Talk" show, where someone can see the audience while talking like Crush from Finding Nemo. Mom and I had front row seats in the teeny auditorium and Crush and I talked

i. about swimming

ii. about that it was my birthday. He then sang me the "Turtle birthday song". To the tune of our traditional bday song: "do do do do do do/ do do do do do do/ I'm so glad that you hatched/ do do do do do do."

8. Saw Gary's friends at the Grand Californian for a few minutes.

9. Walked over to Disneyland.

10. Saw the Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln bit. Tuned out again once the robot Lincoln got onstage and started talking. Got too distracted with the details - his fingers move, his hair doesn't, they stayed on target when recreating his clothes etc etc etc.....

11. Did Jungle Cruise. Not one of the better skippers I've ever had, to be quite honest.

12. Did Pirates. It was Pirates... No real big deal there.

13. Mom and Gary got to experience my scream firsthand at Haunted Mansion. I got to point out:

a. Walt Disney's head in the graveyard

b. the spiderweb on the glass overlooking the ballroom.

c. how the raven used to be the point of talking.

14. Went to Fantasyland.

a. Went on teacups with mom. Did not go on the Bono teacup. Instead, went on pretty blue one with flower on the side.

b. Cast member noticed me and a random girl walking by - and we both had birthday pins on. He then directed us to the front of the line at the Alice in Wonderland ride.

i. This is, embarrassingly enough, the ride I went on almost immediately after I got my ears pierced when I was five.. I didn't quite understand the mechanics of earrings and therefore held my earrings in place for the whole ride.

15. Went to Tomorrowland.

16. Went on Buzz Lightyear ride. I kicked ass. Gary had 2 laser guns going - combined score of 40,000 or so. Mom had one gun, and had about 25,000. I had one gun, and got 184,800. Yeah.

17. Went on It's a Small World. It's the same as it's been. That one doll at the end that is not holding its balloons by its hand, but instead on the top of its head? Yeah, that thing still scares the crap out of me.

18. Decided to take the train back to Main Street.

a. Standing in line, I'm looking at the Princess thing when I think I see a familiar face. "Mom, is that...." "Yes it is... do you want to go?" "No, this has gone on long enough."

b. Turns out to be my best friend from K-12, Jo. She and I hadn't spoken til today since she left for college in Oregon 2 years ago. Broke my heart. Especially since through breaks and everything, we live 5 streets away from each other.

c. My mom and her talk.

d. She and I talk.

i. I shed two tears, maybe.

ii. I got answers that I've been needing for at least a year and a half.

A. You know, when she dropped me like a hot potato...?

19. Parade is setting up, so I look at the shops on Main Street to see if I can find any birthday goodies before we change.

a. After all, shorts are not acceptable at Club 33.

20. Change in the bathroom across from the lockers. I can only imagine what the people in the stalls next to me must have been thinking.

21. Watch the parade. It's the Celebration one, so Mom and I cheered when they said to for:

a. birthday

b. volunteer

c. being at Disneyland!

22. We also danced.

23. From then, we found Gary again and wasted time while waiting to get into Club 33.

24. I got to ring the bell and tell the hostess our reservation name.

a. It's true, they really do have to buzz you in. It's exhilarating when it works and you open that door for the first time.

25. Club 33. Where to start?

a. Entranceway.

i. First thing you see is a staircase. Next to staircase is an old looking elevator. (Apparently European style). To the right of elevator and a bit behind is the check room. When we came in, a party was leaving. They had checked backpacks.

A. Club 33 has a fairly formal dress code. The two kids in that party had to borrow polo shirts to put over their "I SURVIVED THE TOWER OF TERROR" tee shirts.

ii. In front of the check room is the desk. The hostess has a 1920s phone (the one where the mouthpiece and earpiece are separate? That.) that she rang up and told the hostess up THERE that we were here.

iii. Apparently, we passed dress and bag inspection because we headed up the elevator with no problems.

b. The elevator.

i. That thing's TINY!

c. The restaurant.

i. As soon as we got up there, 3 different people helped us: One opened the elevator, the second directed a host, and the host led us to our table where he told us who would be helping us.

ii. Club 33 is really very exclusive. We got in the parks easily. To make up for this, you have to spend a park ticket's worth of money on food/drink in the restaurant.

A. Wow.

iii. As soon as we ordered, Mom and I had a look around. We took our phones and took many various pictures.

iv. We also stumbled upon the case full of Club 33 stuff. Overpriced but really really cool.

d. The food

Me: Started with "contemporary" French Onion soup. Basically onion soup with baked cheese on top. Very yummy. I won "best appetizer" at our table. ;) Followed with steak with a carrot and (I think) a piece of broccolini on the side. Also had some kind of dried cherry bread/cake thing that was extremely delicious. They provided my dessert: chocolate mousse in a scoop with a white chocolate Mickey face in front (with raspberry syrup "eyelashes"), two dark chocolate circles stuck halfway through, and half raspberry in between to signify Minnie's bow. Adorable and again extremely yummy.

Mom: Started with shrimp cocktail. Got the same steak, but didn't really enjoy it. Traded steaks with Gary. They shared his dessert at the end.

Gary: Got the fixed menu. It looked pretty good. There was a cheese on the cheese plate - I believe it was St. Andre Triple Creamy (or something very similar to that name) that was like a really good Brie. I'll have to look into it.

26. The shows

a. We could hear Fantasmic (and see a LITTLE bit) from the balcony of the restaurant. There was a tree in the way. (Apparently people have asked them to chop it down. For convenience's sake.)

b. We finished our food and got out of the park just as the fireworks finished. They were beautiful. Dumbo and Tinkerbell flew. Not at the same time.

i. There was a wonderful version of Chim Chim Cher-ee that I'd like to find. Words were a little changed, and it was sung by a girl.

c. Got our stuff from the locker and headed over to California Adventure

i. Glow Fest was in full swing. You could feel the beat in your chest as you walked past.

ii. Speed walked to our "loading zone" for the Red section of World of Color.

A. If you can, get the yellow section. You can see SOOOO much better.

iii. By this time, parental units were fading quickly.

iv. Show started. It was still good, but was better in the yellow section.

v. Show finished. I still cringed at the Mufasa section and "Awww"ed when all the kisses were shown, and clapped energetically when Under the Sea and Friend Like Me played. Love love love this show!

27. Headed home.

a. Drive took approximately 45 minutes. No traffic. Listened to XM 123 - kind of like TMZ or something similar.

Now....

Time for bed!

xoxo,

Samantha

Hello, blog world.

I know it's been a while since I updated. The problem was that I had no clue how to follow up my "seeing-the-world" post of last time. Enough has happened that I could have updated but .... it wouldn't have been a really good followup.

Well, here I am. And don'tcha love me, I'm going to fill you in on the past few weeks.

Pretty much a few days afer I had said revelation, I got another call for a job. I don't get too excited these days - though I have to say, when I see "Booked Talent" on my caller ID, I do get really giddy - but when they called for Glee.......

I'm not even a big Glee fan.
Hell, I've never seen an episode of the show.

But it's like... national TV! I'm not enough of an idiot to think that someone would see the "me" sized and colored blur in the background and think, "My God, I must find that girl and put her in this big project!" But still... it's Glee. There was singing and dancing. Granted, of the two days I worked it, the first day at the studio was far better, but I at least got money for the hell day.

I'm not really allowed to give specifics about this episode (2.02, btw. Airing September.) but I worked 13 hours the first day, where it was mainly hallway crosses and whatnot. The second day was on location at a (somewhat) local high school where they did the numbers. This was the hell day. First, for one of them, I was put in a stairwell with some others. I go up stairs while they do their bit. Anywho, while we weren't filming, I somehow managed to twist my ankle. I was excused from part of the work and met the medic. (Robert. Very nice guy.) Filled out a bunch of paperwork and got some ice and whatnot. Part Two of Hell Day: I cannot climb stairs because of twisted ankle. I tell PA Roger about this. He lets me do crosses in front of said stairwell instead.

Now, this is somewhat hard to explain in words (and without being in person) but I'll do my best. They were focusing on the stairwell at this point. There was a HUGE screen to the left of where I was walking, and one above. Two cameras were in action - one set, facing where I would walk, and one moving, where people could walk out the doors. (I swear to God this will all make so much more sense when the episode airs and I can pause and explain "here's where.....") Now. We're in rehearsal. PA Jim gestures me and two others to cross. We do not know that the moving camera (held by a person, by the way) was basically running backwards into us. The guy gets out fine. The girl and I get trapped between a pole and the huge screen to our left. She slips through. The guy holding a screen for the camera STEPS ON THAT SAME ANKLE.

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....

Then he cusses me out.

*sniff, sniff*

So yes. Not my best day of work, to be sure. But hell, I got paid for that stuff!

Okay. Following Glee.......

Three days later is Ernest's show of Twelfth Night up in Lindsay. I gather Lauren up and take Gary's car and we go see the show on its closing night. Lauren sees the town, I enjoy conversation about Shakespeare (as well as the production, of course) and met a second one of Ernest's friends from Lindsay. (By the by, the first I had met because he also goes to school. So ... kind of the first real hometown only friend.) Next day, I take Lauren and Ernest back with me to home. I tell ya, even though it's only 3 hours up there, I do not enjoy being behind the wheel for that long - cuz the night in between doesn't really COUNT too much as a break from driving. It's more... I know I'm doing another 3 hours down soon, let me just nap.

So we had Ernest here for about a week and a half. And this may sound terrible, but it's meant with the best - he's amazing, but I am really enjoying my "me" time right now. Playing host for that long is draining. Not to mention, I don't have to worry about anyone peeking at my screen or trying to steal my iPhone from under my nose.... ;)

Today Mom and I saw Eat Pray Love. Oh my God I loved it soooooo much! It was better that I had read the book first, to be honest. Because it's a year of transformation and experiences... there is no feasible way that any of that can fit into two and a half hours. Which, by the way, goes by insanely fast. It seeems to me that I had Julie and Julia last year (remember? I started this blog cuz of it?) and Eat Pray Love is the meaningful movie for this summer. Letters to Juliet was the one of the spring, but that was almost "meaningful lite" to me, compared to the others. All of them show beautiful locations and amazing things. I still want to try the boeuf bourguignon from Julia Child's cookbook. I have this blog up and (mostly) going. I'd love to write to Juliet's Secretaries. And because of this movie... No, I don't want to visit Bali or India, especially for four months like Elizabeth Gilbert did. I'd love to see France and Italy. Maybe not England again but definitely some of the others in the area - Ireland and Scotland and everything beautiful.

Unfortunately, European travel plans aren't in my current budget situation, so I'll have to settle myself for gazing at pictures on the Internet, possibly bugging people that ARE going, and (this is the big one!) learning a new language.

I don't know what, yet. I thought of Italian because of how it all sounds and how it's not just a spoken language, but a language in gestures and tones as well. I have a slight background in French, but I know I'd constantly be hearing my ninth- and tenth- grade Madame in the back of my mind "Samantha, passe compose for ...... " <-- insert horrid verb there. Spanish is too common around here. Sure, it'd be useful, but I've lost hearing the beauty in it.

I was thinking maybe Portugese. Something. Tomorrow (or, later today, as the case may be) I'll be heading to Barnes and Noble to look at language books and tapes. We'll see what I can find. You'll be one of the first to know. ;)

Xoxo,
Samantha

I have a week left til move-in. In that week is going to Disneyland/California Adventure with my parents (and getting to dine in CLUB 33!!!!!) and also my birthday. It's going to be a good week! :)

Sensation

I am so happy right now. I am experiencing sensations like I almost never do.

I feel the warm breeze running over my skin
I feel the heat and texture of my meal of a burrito and chips
I listen to the Latin music I cannot understand but can comprehend on another level
I enjoy the brightness of the sun bouncing off the cars in front of me (even though my sunglasses are on top of my head)
I see all these chain stores by me- Michael's, Old Navy, Party City - and imagine what they were before being constructed

I am one lucky girl to have, for a moment at least, to see the beauty in the world. We take so much for granted, these glimpses of the real world are so gorgeous.

Today

I woke up from another theater dream. This time I was actually on stage (at least during part of it). Me and my new friend Whitmore (or Whitview, I'm not too sure now that I think about it fourteen hours later) went onstage at this festival and we were gonna sing I Am What I Am from La Cage aux Folles but he didn't get onstage cuz it went against his cult and so I sang a duet about gardening with Angela Lansbury...? I really have no idea what the hell is going on with my subconscious lately but it makes for a good story once I'm awake! ;)

Then I basically hung around until Gary got home. We picked up his friend Kip and we went to the Galleria to see the band of one of their friends. (He wasn't in it, he discovered them.) We then wandered the mall for a bit to keep out of the heat (oh god, the heat!!) before heading to the car show. I saw the Get Smart convertible and Back to the Future Delorean again, as well as a cooler older version of a SmartCar (like, a really older version!!) and an aquatic car. Most of the others were the typical really nice older cars that I would be terrified to drive next to or behind.

We then watched some bands either relive their glory days or pretend to (for example, the Beach Boys tribute band that plays mainly songs from the 60s). I got a really cool picture tonight too, with Chubby Checker! It's exactly the 50th anniversary of The Twist, so the coordinator of the event contacted the Guinness World Book of Records to see if they could break the record of the most people twisting at the same time in the same area. I'm not sure if they achieved the record.

I'm still recovering from having to wake up on Thursday at 6 and Friday at 5, so I suppose I should wrap up this post. I may look at this in the morning and delete half of it for being pure rambling. We'll see.

Good night!!

Samantha

Theatre

I swear, there is like some kind of karmic, cosmic deal out there that means I need to be acting.

And I don't mean that in an arrogant way. But I've just woken up from the second dream in a week that I've been passed over in acting.

Dream One: With the director from the Heidi Chronicles, we set out to do another play. I audition again. Again, I do not receive an acting part. Instead, I am stage manager again, plus choreographer and costume designer. I will have to sew everthing by myself as I am not given any assistants. And, I kid you not, EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON in that room got a "leading role" in this Western play we have to do. They're all giggly and saying how much fun they'll have... I'm practically hyperventilating in my sleep cuz my conscious brain decides to remind my unconscious brain about how much work stage manager was, and how much MORE work the other two roles will be.

Dream Two: This is a different director - instead, she is an English professor I'm really comfortable with at school. The same audition process happens and ... I think we had performances? Then the rehearsals? I don't know. In any case, I wasn't given a damn thing to do. We're in dress rehearsals now, I believe. (And, by the way, the theatre in the first dream was completely imaginary, while this one was a modified version of the gym of my middle school.) I've apparently been doing NOTHING for the entire process when I notice that one of the main actors (who has to speak in the next thirty seconds) is not on stage. So I run backstage (we, being the production crew, were apparently sitting on folding chairs just off stage left) and get him on stage in time from the dressing rooms. The director then proceeds to yell at me for not being in my chair for those thirty seconds and asks what my job is. I tell her I don't have one. She yells even more at me, which is odd because the real person wouldn't do that at all. This is approximately when I woke up, out of breath and tearing up.

I'm taking a lesson from these dreams and I will be researching any kind of theatre I can do either before summer ends or during the night when school begins. Any more of these dreams and I may scream.

Just had to let someone know all the gory details of my subconscious.

Samantha

San Francisco

My mood has taken a complete 180 from my last post. We're leaving the city now but yesterday and today has just been so much fun!

Yesterday, we all got up and went our separate ways. Gary went to Napa with some of his friends, and Mom and I decided to explore the city. We went to the concierge first and got a map from him, as well as some suggestions of where to go. My friend Alisha also made a huge long comment on my facebook about places to go. I wish I had more time here; it would be so much fun to do!

So Mom and I left our hotel and went walked past (and in) Union Square, Chinatown, North Beach, Fisherman's Wharf, and Ghiaradelli Square. Considering all the hills and different airs and wonderful sights to see, it took us about five or six hours to walk all that. Plus we had some detours along the way.

We spent quite a while in Chinatown, with all the knick knack shops and getting lunch and all. We got lunch at this place called Empress of China, where we had had dinner on a previous visit before. It was so delicious! There was a Chinese chicken salad with this like Ginger/sesame dressing and a "sizzling rice" soup (they added grilled[?] rice paddies to the soup and it made the sizzle sound), then barbecue pork fried rice, almond chicken, and scallops and shrimp in like an egg sauce. It was a LOT of food, and we couldn't finish it all, but it was so good! After Chinatown, we headed in the general direction of North Beach.

I am a huge fan of the show Monk. (For the record, I am very happy about how it ended.) So naturally, I looked up various places where it filmed in the city. Since it filmed mostly in LA, they were few and far between. But one of my favorite shots- Monk crossing a street at night- WAS filmed in San Francisco. And it was somewhat on our route. So I dragged Mom up this enormous hill just so I can recreate this shot. Of course, mine was at 2:30 and his was at nighttime, but it's the thought that counts.

So from there we walked down a little of North Beach, but mainly headed down to the wharf. We were by Pier 39- and, by the way, I still have no clue about what seems to make that one special- so walked past all those touristy shops to get to (in my humble opinion) The Chocolate Capital of the West Coast.

Once we were chocolated out, we took a cab back to the hotel. We had walked a bit more than five miles without really stopping, all over those hills. It was a good kind of exhaustion that we had.

Today we went to this place that I saw on the wharf, but they had a location by the hotel- Boudin Bakery. All I can say is: Oh. My. God. Their sourdough is to DIE for. I had chowder in the bread bowl... I am one full and happy camper right now.

Lonely

I was lonely at dinner tonight. There's only so much a 19-year-old can contribute to conversation with her parents and their friends.

Then two more of my dad's friends joined us all for a drink. No glance in my direction or acknowledgement. I may as well have been wearing an Invisibility Cloak with all that shit.

I got on the phone with Ernest, which was okay at the time but made me really down after. For like 20 minutes I listened to him and his friends have fun.

That's great- I don't begrudge them that. It's just that it made me think after- "when was the last time I was with a friend at their house for fun?"

I can actually tell you- Christmas Eve, with my best friend from middle school. For about 3 hours in the afternoon.

I've never been to my best friend's house. I haven't even seen her for like three weeks. It's just crazy!

I'm sorry if this is coming out really pathetic. I'm on vacation, just came from one of the prettiest cities in the state and am now in one of my favorite places in the world. I should be happy. And I was when we were exploring.

Dinnertime rolled around and that kind of went down the toilet.

Ah well. Hakuna matata. I hope tomorrow's awesome. :)

Anyone who thinks

That knitting is an easy and repetitive activity all the time has obviously never tried cabling.

Some of you may recall (the strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera, a mystery never fully explained) a post of mine from earlier this year or late 2009, bragging about my aptitude at said activity. For those of you new to the blog, a cable is that upraised braid or pattern usually found on professional knitted items, such as sweaters.

Well apparently my post was bullshit.

We're in the car, driving up to Monterey for vacation, when I come up with the (absolutely insane) idea of trying this cable pattern. It'll be fun, I thought. A new yarn and a new pattern. Cool!

Well that was two hours ago. In that time I have finished exactly sixteen rows of cable pattern. (I had two of preliminary work to set up). Oh my god ...

Brain is mush. Want to rip out demonic yarn. Spent too much time to. Ugh.

I cursed more about dropping stitches or whatever than I did yesterday when a horribly heavy plastic (brick sized) Calvin Klein sign fell on my toes yesterday.

Boy, was that an experience. I wanted to yell and curse and get that damned thing off my foot. It fell four feet onto my foot with a HUGE thump! that caught everyone's attention. But I also caught sight of some kids not too far away, so in the middle of my pain on my middle, ring, and a little bit of the pinky toes, I tell my mom "Oh my god that hurts but I can't curse cuz we're in public!" She thought it was cute. I think I was delirious.

Then you know, Macy's sent someone over with ice packs and an accident report. In the meantime, I took my vocabulary to Ernest. I think he got the picture when my beginning statement was "holy motherfucking shit". Haha

It still hurts to walk a bit. I hope it gets better quick; I have sightseeing to do! :)

I shall keep you updated from Northern California!

Samantha

Watching Monk right now and...

I reeeeeeally want to see The Silence of the Lambs.

I read the book. I've seen the posters and pictures of it online.

I'm just too chicken to actually go buy the movie and watch it on my own. Horror films are not exactly my favorite thing in the world - but I managed the first book fine. It was Hannibal that made me cringe every few chapters (that Mason Verger is a SICK mo-fo... Not to mention the pictures of Gary Oldman in costume...!)

But I don't know... Although Jame Gumb is equally sick in his own way, I really love Ted Levine's acting.

I'm just having a really hard time figuring out what he would look like. I've seen that one picture of him on google images like a million times but can't figure out what he's really going to look like as Gumb.

It must be Captain Stottlemeyer's mustache that's throwing me off.

But it's that whole thing of loving acting rather than the physicality of an actor thing that I really want to see. Not to mention that Jame Gumb is really a 180 from this part for Ted Levine - a murderer versus a homicide captain? A man with a mustache versus a gender-confused one? Oh dear Lord the character differences alone make me giggle.

I also found out that Tony Shalhoub also played Scoop in The Heidi Chronicles. But from his Monk characterizations, you'd really never know it.

Hm. I think now I'm just typing random stuff. Have a nice night, all.

Oh! Yes. If anyone reading is my facebook friend and plays Cafe World and/or Frontierville, any way you could send me gifts? I need stuff. ;)

Okay, I'm good now. Bye bye!

Not quite as "soon" as I was hoping, really.

I've really really meant to update this so many times since I last posted.

A lot has happened.
Well.
Actually.
Not that much, when I think about it.
We'll see.

Pretty much right after I posted, it was Ernest's birthday, so I went up to Lindsay for a while. Then he came back down here for a while. All in all, we spent 11 days completely together. After our separation of ...what, three weeks? ... it was nice.

I've been to Disneyland once since I updated - but not with Lauren, which was kind of odd. I went with my friend Adam, who was in the Heidi Chronicles. It was really a lot of fun. We did different things (well, not really, but in a different pattern) than I'm used to, and it was just really cool to be there. I've worked twice since last update - once on a game show called Pictureka, which will be on a new channel by Hasbro and Discovery this fal, and once on Greek. We shot at Pierce during Greek, which was really nice as I've done that drive at that time for the last two summers. I didn't fret about parking or weather or the drive. It was a four hour day too, which was reaaaaaaally good, cuz otherwise they probably would have had a mob on their hands. (We shot under direct sun, at noon, in 90+ degree weather, in layered clothing, in summertime. We were not a happy 300 person crowd.)

I've seen Toy Story 3 a few times and adored it each time. It has its sad moments - I gasped out loud and tears welled up when I first learned that Bo Peep was no longer with the toys, for one - but it is absolutely phenomenal. Buzz's Spanish Mode was too funny!

So as you can see, I could have updated after really any of this to go more into detail. Why now? Nothing really happened today. I got up, spent some time fooling around on the computer, went to the mall and met up with my mom for mani/pedi, and came home for dinner. That's it.

I was at the mall waiting for Mom to show up. (I came there from home, she came from work... two completely different directions.) I'm browsing in one of those Forever 21 knockoff stores and trying on clothes when I hear a group of giggly girls crowding in a few of the dressing rooms around mine. Whatever.

What I was not expecting was to come out and come face to face with one girl that everyone adored in my second high school and for her to kind of look through me. Then four of her friends come out of the rooms - they're the giggly girls - and all talk about the outfits they're considering.

Uhhhh.......

Well. I'm not feeling at all awkward.

I wait for some recognition, but kind of discretely (I hope) by hanging around some racks next to the open area by the dressing rooms.

Nothing.

I totally gave them an in, too. I faked a phone call. I picked up a tee shirt and played my ringtone, stopped it, held the phone to my ear. "Hello? This is Samantha. ....Oh, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number." This "conversation" happened as I passed them to return to the fitting room.

I know, I know. I'm cringing at my own actions. But it seemed logical. What if they recognized my face but had forgotten the name? I know each of their first and last names and sort of what happened to them after I transferred and we all graduated. (Thank God for facebook. Oh, right. We're all facebook friends and this is STILL going down.) How awkward would conversation have been if that had been the case?

Nothing.

I know I thought in high school that I was invisible. I wasn't really cool but not that nerdy either. I kind of floated through the ranks and social groups. But I did plays with two of them and one of the girls was my French class partner for a semester. I guess I had hoped that through social networking and after high school, I wouldn't feel invisible anymore. I don't in college (most of the time).

But today in that store.. and even right now... It's all just flooding back.

God, I hate high school. When can I go to college?

Hello

I am getting my hair done, and finishing up Hannibal, the sequel to Silence of the Lambs. The book, not the movie, of course. It's getting really intense so I need to focus on something else for a few minutes before I find up what happens.

The last few days, I have been absolutely obsessed with the song Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. It features in one of my favorite movies of all time (Ghost) but I only thought to buy it on iTunes earlier this week. It is so sweet, and to some degree it is what I feel now, being seperated from Ernest.

This past week has been somewhat of a roller coaster. I was ecstatic to be working all five days, and kept calculating how much my paycheck (before taxes) will be. I met some amazing people, on both Hung and Hop. (For my own information: Hung, season 2 episode 9. Hop, April 2011.) Meeting the people is really one of the best things about working as an extra. I have gotten so many helpful tips about furthering my career; I love it! Now to get my third Union voucher and save up enough money to sign up for SAG. It's just the first payment that's a bitch but I hear it gets made up for after that.

Okay. My heart isn't pumping quite so hard from the suspense. Expect another update soon. I do have a lot to say. It's just odd typing it all on my phone.

Xoxo,
Samantha

Yay!

The universe is looking out for me.

I just got a call from my booking agency, and I have a job for Monday! It's on a show called Hung, and I have to be at Paramount in Hollywood at six in the morning. But it's a job! It will be Disneyland funds and hopefully I can get enough to earn my SAG card quickly enough!

Oh, I'm so happy, I could just burst! Having a job means I won't be sitting here on my ass wondering what to do next. Now I'll just be doing that at Paramount instead. But at least I'll be in different surroundings and getting paid to do .... whatever it is! :P

Karma, you are not a bitch. Well, yes, to bad people, but hopefully this doesn't bite me in the ass as I get up at four in the morning on Monday.

That means that I'll be going to bed at like nine o'clock Sunday night. That means no phone calls or text messages then.

That means you! ;)

Summer is underway

... and it's really really boring.

It's only been a week.

Geez.

The only thing I can think of doin is go to Disneyland. And I won't be able to do that in July. I think. So what the hell am I supposed to do during the days? I'm so used to having JC classes during the past few summers that I love having stuff to do.

I don't do idle well. I get into my head too much. It becomes rather unfortunate.

Anyone have any ideas how I can keep busy without spending too much money, with me being on call as an extra every day?

Summer, cont'd

What to do.. What to type...

My second final for the day is over. I aced the performing arts part. Maybe got one question wrong. But the essays were amazing. "what are the responsibilities if a Stage Manager?" "describe the evolution of the American musical theater." I love it! (my phone suggested "live" instead of "love"... Really, both are applicable. Haha)

Even thinking about the summer coming up is enough to make me want to cry, if not shed a tear or two. I haven't yet fully broken down. I'll get there. It's kind of inevitable.

Some of the events of the day have reminded me of when Jack broke up with me. God, I hope it's not a repeat.

I'm gonna have some food then pack up. Yay. Please note my absolute lack of enthusiasm.

I'm no longer MIA!

Hello blog world.

I am heading home from Arizona. Yes, again. This makes, what, like three or four times since I started this blog? And I blog every time. Well, there's not much else to do on my way like this. I Spy is way too easy. What would we pick: sky, dirt, tumbleweed, mountain? Probably not.

I was woken up today at 7, so please forgive any groggyness that comes through.

Yesterday was kind of fun- and that was before I saw the family and my cute little cousin. I wore a dress yesterday - something that really rarely happens - and I kept getting attention. Male attention. Even though I am in an amazing relationship, it was a nice ego boost. I never notice this stuff at home or school, so maybe the Arizona guys are more obvious? I don't know and I really don't care.

This week is finals week. I only have three in-class finals, which is nice. Then we get let out for like three and a half months, which is definitely more bittersweet. I'm going to miss everyone so much! I hate how we all scatter like this... It's just annoying. Sure, there's facebook but there's really nothing like face-to-face interaction with people.

My companion (besides you, dear blog reader) on this amazingly boring car trip is A Very Potter Musical playing on my iPod. This student made show is really really amazing. I've watched it like three times. I think I'm so attached to it by now because I first watched it on opening night of the show. That was a success, and since I'm superstitious like that, I made sure to at least listen to the soundtrack before the show. I wish there was a way to get the video on my iPod. I tried one way but it wasn't compatible or some nonsense. If you haven't watched it, just try it. I may go and find it on YouTube on my phone and watch at least the first song. :)

I'm not sure if I should be typing this out, knowing of at least two readers certain identities... Ah well. I'm a jealous person. Not so far as personal belongings go, really. As far as people go. Friends, boyfriend, family. I become hurt and upset if people I hang out with make plans and don't invite me. Especially if I'm right there. That's just impolite. And people flirting with Ernest when I'm right there. I don't think so. Yes, he's handsome. But I'm also in the vicinity. So yes, I will glare at you. You're probably a nice person. Just stop the flirting. Moving on.... My cousins. I love them all dearly, and it does make sense that they're all so close, but for Thanksgiving and other holidays when we all get together, I've felt like a fourth wheel since... God, probably junior high, now that I think about it.

So this post has taken for-frikin'-ever. Thanks for reading.

All my best,
Samantha

I'm no longer MIA!

Hello blog world.

I am heading home from Arizona. Yes, again. This makes, what, like three or four times since I started this blog? And I blog every time. Well, there's not much else to do on my way like this. I Spy is way too easy. What would we pick: sky, dirt, tumbleweed, mountain? Probably not.

I was woken up today at 7, so please forgive any groggyness that comes through.

Yesterday was kind of fun- and that was before I saw the family and my cute little cousin. I wore a dress yesterday - something that really rarely happens - and I kept getting attention. Male attention. Even though I am in an amazing relationship, it was a nice ego boost. I never notice this stuff at home or school, so maybe the Arizona guys are more obvious? I don't know and I really don't care.

This week is finals week. I only have three in-class finals, which is nice. Then we get let out for like three and a half months, which is definitely more bittersweet. I'm going to miss everyone so much! I hate how we all scatter like this... It's just annoying. Sure, there's facebook but there's really nothing like face-to-face interaction with people.

My companion (besides you, dear blog reader) on this amazingly boring car trip is A Very Potter Musical playing on my iPod. This student made show is really really amazing. I've watched it like three times. I think I'm so attached to it by now because I first watched it on opening night of the show. That was a success, and since I'm superstitious like that, I made sure to at least listen to the soundtrack before the show. I wish there was a way to get the video on my iPod. I tried one way but it wasn't compatible or some nonsense. If you haven't watched it, just try it. I may go and find it on YouTube on my phone and watch at least the first song. :)

I'm not sure if I should be typing this out, knowing of at least two readers certain identities... Ah well. I'm a jealous person. Not so far as personal belongings go, really. As far as people go. Friends, boyfriend, family. I become hurt and upset if people I hang out with make plans and don't invite me. Especially if I'm right there. That's just impolite. And people flirting with Ernest when I'm right there. I don't think so. Yes, he's handsome. But I'm also in the vicinity. So yes, I will glare at you. You're probably a nice person. Just stop the flirting. Moving on.... My cousins. I love them all dearly, and it does make sense that they're all so close, but for Thanksgiving and other holidays when we all get together, I've felt like a fourth wheel since... God, probably junior high, now that I think about it.

So this post has taken for-frikin'-ever. Thanks for reading.

All my best,
Samantha

Uh

I have been horribly lax in my blogging time. My apologies.

The truth is, I really haven't had any time. Hell, I've barely had time to finish my classwork, let alone anything else. The show opens on Wednesday and so my life has been that, Ernest, and trying desperately to relax- before I have to get re-wound up.

Today is our first tech run. I have to go. Just wanted to let all my eager readers (haha) know I am alive and well.

Take care!

Please disregard this post

This is for my reference only. Unless you are actually interested in what yarns and knit projects I'm using/doing currently, feel free to ignore this.

In-Progress Projects:

Cheshire Striped Scarf:
brown: Patons Decor. Color: "Rich Grey Heather", #01673. Dyelot 148779. 75% acrylic, 25% wool.
teal: Lanaloft. Color: "LL92W Turquoise Magic". Dyelot 004. 100% wool.
Pattern: 1. k-> 2. k2tog, k->, kfb CO 18, #10 or 10 1/2 needles.
Got yarn at Velona's.

Red Tweed Wrap:
yarn: Plymouth Yarn's "Paca Tweed". Color 2015, Lot 883. 50% alpaca, 40% merino wool, 10% donegal.
Pattern: 1. p1, k4 2. p3, k2 3. rpt 2 4. rpt 1 CO 70, #8 needles
Got yarn at Knot Garden.

Mock-Cable Scarf
yarn: Berroco's Cuzco. Color 9640, Lot 0802. 50% superfine alpaca, 50% Peruvian wool.
pattern: 1. (RS) p2, *sl1, k2, psso, p2* 2. k2, *p1, yo, p1, k2* 3. p2, *k3, p2* 4. k2, *p3, k2* CO 25, #6 needles
Yarn from Knot Garden


Future Projects:

Possible neckwarmer? Only 50 meters or so.
Yarn: Noro BigBebe. Color 2, Lot A. 38% cotton, 29% Ramie, 29% wool, 4% nylon.
http://www.jimmybeanswool.com/freeKnittingPatternBasicNeckie.asp - yarn varies too much, maybe?

Scarf/wrap; lacy or plain. no cable.
Yarn: Bernat's Softee Baby. Color: Pale Blue; 02002. 100% acrylic. sport dk weight.
Maybe http://straw.com/cpy/patterns/scarves/kidm-mist-lace-scarf.html ... but is yarn too heavy?
http://home.online.no/~tu-mell/onerowlacescarf.cfm This would probably be better.

Lace wrist cuffs a la Mad Hatter:
Yarn: Sirdar Snuggly's Baby Bamboo. Quality: 071. SH 129. Lot: 90308. Royal blue. 80% Bamboo sourced viscose, 20% wool. Have 2 in stash.
http://stickfrossa.blogspot.com/2009/01/annas-wristwarmers.html I'm still not thrilled with the Internet for not having a better pattern. I may have to dabble into lace making myself. Yikes. Don't forget to look at patterns saved/favorited on ravelry.



I'm sure this has just been THE most interest post to the poor souls who actually read through it. Let me know who you are, and I'll give you a cookie. There will be a quiz to prevent free-cookie-giving. :)

xoxo!

Grr

I hate this thing.

The app for blogging on my phone, that is. I was midway through a really really long post-

When my mom calls.

Not a big deal... But when I put the app back up, everything was gone.

It wasn't like it was my deepest darkest secrets or anything. This is just frustrating.

Okay. See you next post. This time from the computer.

My handwriting

I was filling out a few birthday cards today and a few things came to mind.

I am always able to tell what mood I was in, when I later examine something I've written. For example, when I am upset, my writing gets very compact. It also tends to be neater. When I'm content with life, it tends to be bigger, more rounded. If I'm trying to impress someone, I'll also do my best to fully separate each letter.

Also- I never did it in school really, but I adore notes. It feels like we're in some kind of plot and everything is completely top secret.

No one's written me anything, really. I mean, of course I get birthday and holiday cards, but stuff like poems or letters. I love tangible signs of affection. No, not just gifts, though those are always nice. Just... Signs that someone is thinking about me, you know?

Before I get too maudlin and spill things to my blog that I'd rather keep inside my head....

TTYL

Okay.

So the super awesome Wonderland hat I was making?

Turned out, it was so colorful, it became a gay rights hat. I've a third of a mind to send it to a gay performance artist that came to campus, a second third to save it for the Day of Silence, and a third third (haha) to have the gay character, Peter, wear it in his coming out scene in the show. I have to say, the third third is by FAR my favorite. Even so, I made another hat in a different color scheme of the same brand of yarn with the same pattern, and that is much more Wonderland-y. Not to mention, I could actually wear that one out in everyday use. Which is always good.

As I'm sure everyone can tell, I am super super excited for Alice! I'm meeting my friend Juliet and some of HER friends to see the movie later on tonight. I don't think I'll be getting back to campus til 1 or so, but I can't wait! Plus, tomorrow's Saturday so I'm allowed to sleep in. ;) Another truth: I'm excited to hang out with someone without the show being the majority of our conversation. I don't have to bring my prompt book along, I can drop the title of Stage Manager for a night.. oh, happy happy day!!!!

The show is taking a LOT out of me. A lot a lot a lot. And I don't know if anyone is noticing or caring. I've been close to breaking down a few times in the past few weeks. But I have to swallow that lump in my throat, determine that the director's getting less sleep than I am, that the actors are still memorizing, that the other production team people HAVE to be as busy as I am or they would offer to HELP..... and go back to normal. I like my sanity. I'd like to keep it.

It's hard, though. I was chewed out twice this week. One was partly my fault, the other was NOT AT ALL. 1. I got excited when an actor did something right and made a fuss. Director made me feel an inch tall. 2. An actor was late and didn't notify me. As I'm getting a hold of her, director made me feel an inch tall. That was not a good night.

I'm gonna break away from Heidi conversation, or I'm going to cry again.

I admit I'm not a girly girl by any real stretch of the imagination. Pink is seventh on my list of favorite colors (tying with yellow... the only one to come after that is orange). I have no skirts here at school, and only a few at home. When I look at actors, I look more at talent and versatility than looks. Hence why Johnny Depp is shown in my room twice (as Jack Sparrow and Sweeney Todd). Sure, he's handsome, but I appreciate how good he is at his profession more than I do his looks.

That being said, I do love being romanced. Wooed. Made to feel special. I love making an effort to look good or do little things to/for Ernest to, if not help, let him know that I'm there to share the burden. If all else fails, I'm there to vent at.

THAT being said, (and this is directed at EVERYONE), I am sympathetic. I am your friend. I am there if you need me. BUT I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. Keep in mind that I am lending my ear to you. Do not make me deaf, metaphorically speaking. If I am your problem, let me know, and we will deal with it together. Whether that means avoiding one another (as I determined to be the problem with a friend a few months ago) or working things out so we're strong again, LET ME KNOW.



Well. That certainly came off different than how I planned. My main point was going to be how I enjoy feeling special in the way I hopefully make others feel. But that does not make my caps-lock bit moot. Not. At. All.

So, my four readers (that I know of).... thoughts? Advice? Don't leave a girl stranded here...

All the best-

I don't really...

have too much to say right now. Haha! Just because of that, I'm sure that this will end up being a super super long post.

I have about fifteen minutes before I have to head off to rehearsal. We don't have to start until six, but our director made a very clear point of telling me today in Business that I have to be there before. So I'll leave my room at 5:30 and be there soon after. This isn't a very big campus.

This weekend, my mom and I discussed my living arrangements for next year. One of my friends wants to move off campus and into an apartment... but I'm not sure if I can do that. For one, I adore having the option to wake up fifteen minutes before class, get some coffee, and walk over to the Bell Tower. If I lived off, I wouldn't have that option.

Not that I even do that. I just like having the option to sleep in.

But right now, the conclusion we've come to is that I will move into the "senior" dorms, rather than stay isolated in my room in the "freshman" dorms. It'll be like having the apartment experience, but not actually off campus yet.

I've been doing a lot of knitting recently. There's about four (soon to be five) projects spread about my room - the mock-cable scarf that I need to get more yarn for, the lacy pattern that I need to pull out, as one repeat makes a large coaster, and I don't want a scarf of it just yet, the basketweave pattern scarf from the yarn I made my socks out of, the headband from the yarn I made these AMAZING fingerless gloves out of. I can't wear the gloves, as the thumbs came out weird and I keep making holes in the space between my thumb and forefinger as that's where I hold my bag, but they're still amazing. And so is the yarn. I wanted that for like, seriously two or three months. And my latest project - labelled the Samantha hat on dailyknitter.com (how could I resist?) will soon become my Wonderland Hat.

Yes, you read that right. I picked this one Noro yarn that is seriously color varying all over the freakin' rainbow. As I wanted to make something really bold and "out there" as homage to the spirit of both Tim Burton and Lewis Carroll through this film, it's going to be PERFECT. I contemplated making a really odd scarf, but I couldn't think of any really crazy patterns offhand, and honestly, I have enough scarves for the time being. Hence why I'm making coasters instead of another lacey scarf.

But I digress.

I am REALLY looking forward to this Alice in Wonderland movie - have been, ever since I saw the first poster put up months and months ago. I adore Tim Burton's work (and not just cuz Johnny Depp is in most of it, though there is that! ;] ) and to see his dark oddness combined with, I hope, the eccentricity and trippyness that is Lewis Carroll and Alice... well, it's going to be an amazing experience.

Thinking of Alice leads me to Disney. I haven't gone for a few months, and as I have my pass still good until June, I REALLY want to go soon. Spring break is coming up in a few weeks, so there's then, but I also really want to make this a cast trip. If anyone can't afford it, there is the option to do the "Give a Day, Get a Disney Day" volunteer stuff.

Okay! It's five-thirty. I now have to go to rehearsal, maybe have a panic attack at how much I'll be doing for the next three and a half hours, get back, write (and finish) a paper, and go to sleep. Hopefully all this will happen before midnight.

Don't wanna go from the belle of the ball to the ragamuffin, after all.

Hopefully happily ever after (today),

Samantha

Testing.

This is just so I can post my new COUNTER. Booyah! ;)


blog counter

xoxo

So, uh...

About the production.

It's been a few weeks since we got our roles, and I still don't think I quite know what to make of the situation.

I wasn't given a speaking role. Hell, I wasn't even given an acting role.

I'm stage manager.

And it's awesome, it really is! But the thing is, for two or three weeks we hoped. We hoped for awesome roles with lines and lots of blocking. I know I hoped for the Curse of the Susan to continue (more on that later), or if not that, at least one of the recurring characters. I had faith in myself as a performer.

Then our director decided (after half an hour of drawing it out, with us sitting in a semi-circle around her table) to hand out slips of paper dictating what we were to do for the next two and a half months of our lives. She says, "Oh, I'll hand out the Production Team first." I think nothing of it, and pity my dear friend who had a major acting role last year, as he gets the first Production Team slip. Then she walks over to me. Oh, that's what Eddie just felt.... Then I kept wondering was I not good enough why do I not have a part how the hell did this happen I don't understand was I not good enough? She kept handing out papers, then sat and talked some more about the process the production was going to take. As my mind went in circles, I tried to swallow the sudden huge lump in my throat and blink back the tears I felt were arriving. I was successful in this, but I don't think I was able to keep a stricken look from my features. As she wound down this second speech, I was (mostly) calm and had decided to be the best damn Stage Manager she had ever seen. I was looking for the silver lining - and that night, as Eddie and I were texting, I realized it more fully - I get to know this show so so intimately. And, as odd as this is going to sound, I get to have a lot of power. So far, I've been in charge of informing the cast where and when we're meeting, what we're doing, and compiling various documents for the director. It's a lot of busy work, really, but it's something to do to keep myself involved in this show.

This past week, I've labelled myself the Human Watch. It's my job in rehearsal to let the director know what time it is, if we're approaching the time of stopping, and whatnot. I am so very "on" this job. I've gotten many responses from various castmates how funny it is that I'm always letting her know the time... but it's my job, and they understand that. I actually bought a watch so I didn't constantly drain my cell phone battery. One of my friends said today how I was doing everything right... of course! I'm terrified of doing something wrong here. My confidence is already shot enough from not getting an acting role. I know that I got stage manager as a learning experience, and not necessarily a lack of talent of my part. But it was still a blow to my ego. It still is. I find myself doubting any instincts I have as a performer, in other classes. Whereas, before, I mainly was concerned with how silly I may have looked, but definitely not if I could perform well at all. I figured, I've been doing this on and off since I was five, I had to have picked up something, right?

One of my chief concerns is that (as production team) I'm going to get shunted aside, socially, when it comes time for cast get-togethers. These are my friends, so I kind of doubt it, but I'm constantly trying to make stronger friendships so I assure myself. Plus it's always nice to have awesome friends. :) I also wonder how necessary I really am to this whole process.

So yes. Just a lot of doubt on me for the past.. three weeks or so. *sigh*

Uhh... I don't really have anything else to say.

Later!

Hmm.

I'm kind of sad right now.

And I don't really know why.

Wait. Yes I do.

I don't want to be a commodity. I want to be precious.

I don't know if I feel that way.

Okay. Must get back to rehearsal.

Maybe more about that later.

All right. Bye.

An odd thought.

So I'm fully awake (at 9am! Shocking!!) and reading an article about the Sentimental Novel for my major american authors class. A passage struck me as weird and I thought I'd share because I'm almost done but the fire alarms going off in another building and I don't want to go back yet.

It's talking about how Clarissa is indistinguishable from her virginity, and how that's not like the chastity advocated by the Church.

Then I thought, Wait a minute, in those days girls got married at like fourteen! Of course they should still be virgins! Then that led me to choke on my coffee when I thought of the girls who weren't, and why they were not and the S.O.Bs that made them that way. Ewwww!!

I am no religion nut. I've read the bible, attempted Torah before, and have my own set of beliefs based on my own knowledge- not what anyone else has tried to get me to believe. Upon reading this article, I wondered, was the Church trying to stop child molestors? But then again, weren't the girls always in the wrong, and persecuted as such, as if they had really asked for it?

Well, maybe they did. I never said I knew their society. But as those girls DID get married young... Maybe they gossiped about their "marital relations" with their best friends? Sure, they didn't have the same scientific knowledge we have today. But damn, those girls probably knew what was what about sex way earlier than what we do today!

My main thought here was the child molestation and the Church. Somehow as I typed, more ideas came forth. Don't you love when that happens?

How ironic...

... That I should write about the negative effects of the media in here last night. I just got out of a class where the theme is violence and school shootings. We spent the whole period watching Bowling for Columbine. If that movie doesn't make a point about how the media fucks everyone up, I don't know what does.

I'm still unsettled by this movie. More than I really thought I would be. I was only eight when the Columbine occurred. I have no recollection of the news reports on it. It wasn't until senior year of high school before I learned anything about it besides the name.

One thing I DO remember in vivid detail that this movie showed was 9/11. I remember going in for breakfast that morning and becoming entranced by the image on tv. After all, nothing that bad happened HERE, right? Ha. Well, in any case, the movie had a clip of the plane flying into the second tower. Just thinking of it still makes me absolutely completely shocked.

As soon as class ended, I knew I had to be around some natural beauty before I settled into too deep of a funk. I'm not sure if it's working. I'm in a small courtyard in between buildings. There's a nice fountain. Brick walkways. Trees and grass and flowers and No Smoking signs.

Well. If I don't cheer up, Production will be interesting tonight.

All the best,
Samantha

Thoughts of the Day

Today on the drive back up to school, I saw a Denny's. This is not a new Denny's. I see it every time I drive back up here, and I have ever since I started going to college. What makes tonight's passage worth mentioning is that all the letters in the sign were lit up. It's one of those different signs where each of the letters is individually lit up by neon or some such gas. I've driven past Denn 's, or enny's, or even Den y' , but almost never Denny's. And this is so silly to even mention in a blog, but this small thing made me really happy.

Also in the car: I've noticed that I never put on a show when others are in the car. I love to sing. Whether I'm any good, I don't know. I sing in my car, in the shower, just hanging around my room... you get the idea. But if anyone's around besides my mother, I will clam up. Well, I won't stop singing, but I'll tone down the performance level a LOT. Like... on a scale of one to ten, going from a nine to a two and a half. If it's just me.. oh, boy, all bets are off. I'll belt or do funny voices or even mime some of the lyrics as I sing them. Too bad the only other person to see me do this is biased. ;)

I am in the production again this year. This is such an exciting thing! For the past two weeks, we've mainly been getting to know one another and getting a feel of each other as an ensemble. The show will be going on at Week Twelve of the semester. We're going on Week Three right now and still don't know our roles. I'm not going to lie, that is really grating on my nerves, as well as some of my cast mates', if the gossip I hear is correct. But it really has been fun getting to know old friends better, and making new friends in our common and shared experience. :)

So much of today's society is in such a negative place. This is, I believe, mainly attributed to the media as it is. We as a people listen to the news with all of its war talk and diseases and politics and generally horrible things happening in the world. The shows that try to put some positivity into the show are regarded as jokes and they'll get delegated to talk-show status. But moving aside... I do try to be positive. I'll groan and bitch how much so-and-so annoys me, or how I just hate this or that... but I love spreading positivity to others. This usually comes about in small comments such as in, "Wow, your hair looks great today!" or "Where did you get those shoes?" Stuff like that. Tis is really a twofer, now that I think about it. It is definitely an ice breaker, and conversations will spring forth, which I adore. But also it generally puts the other person in a really good mood for at least a few minutes. One instance springs to mind. This was in early December, and my mom and I were in the Disney store buying some pajamas for my little cousin. I'm just looking around, and notice that the cashier has the most lovely hair - dark brown, about shoulder-blade length, and all ringlets. Not Shirley Temple, but about as wide around as a water bottle or something similar. I mention that her hair looks really great, and she (not being the one ringing us up) looks up at me, gets this huge grin on her face, and says, "Really? I just woke up with it like this today!" Not at all snooty, but really enthusiastic that someone else noticed her fortunate hair day. And that is why I love dropping compliments here and there.... people gobble them up and maybe it'll turn someone's bad day around.

I remember one day last semester where I felt that glow of, Really-Maybe-I-Am-Pretty-Today. I had a furlough day in my costume design class, and since that was the only class of my day, I was free. So that day, I woke up late, put on some sweats, tee shirt, and baseball cap, and went about my day. No makeup. Nothing really nice. I was just looking to be comfortable on a day where no one would judge me by what I wore. So anyway, I went to the cafeteria for lunch and met up with a friend and two of her friends. I sat with them for some hours before heading back to my room. The one guy of the four of us would NOT lay off me... Flirting subtly, then getting kind of nasty when I gave no response to the former. I signed onto AIM and a guy friend started chatting to me... I told him that I was only looking for friendship from guys at the time, as I don't have a solid group. He then proceeded to tell me that he liked me, and as I just said I wasn't looking for romance at the time, should he put off asking me out? I said yes, but was still so so very flattered. The third instance of that day was my crush returning one of my books and chatting with me at my door for twenty minutes. Keep in mind, I was still in the sweats and baseball cap with no makeup on. My mind was BLOWN. I had no idea (and still have no idea) what it was about me that day that drew these three nice young men to me. Was it coincidence? Or did I actually exude something ... confidence, kindness, comfort ....? that acted like honey? I may never know.

Knitting update:

As for the lace patterned scarf: I finished it yesterday, decided it was too long and thin, and ripped it apart. (Ripping = making the yarn back into a ball, as opposed to being my latest project. I didn't tear it up.) I loved the pattern and yarn and needles combination, though, so I simply added on another few stitches to make it wider and hopefully shorter.

I need to make a scarf for Gary this week. He's headed to New York on Sunday (and aren't I jealous!) and it's going to be insanely cold. So, since I knit and all, he asked for something... a first! I'm trying to think of a good yarn that is soft, machine washable, and masculine. I have nothing in my stash that is all three of these requirements. This may call for a trip to my LYS (Local Yarn Store/Shop) tomorrow after classes.

Yesterday I got a yarn that I have been coveting for a few months now. It's this insanely rich purple wool that I put off buying because I didn't want to make just another scarf with it. It's too nice for that. But I broke down and got it because there was a pattern for fingerless gloves made FOR THAT YARN right next to it. I am a sucker for fingerless gloves. I've made six pairs that I remember. One was for a gift, but oftentimes I'll make them because I have too little yarn to make anything else out of it. That, or I'll see a nice pattern and think, Gee, that'll look nice with Yarn X and Needles Y. It's all trial and error, folks. But the shop had a sample glove next to the pattern and yarn, and it was so nice and cozy and fun looking that I just had to get it. It's a different pattern type than I'm used to, but hopefully that won't be much of a problem.

Okay.. I'm going to get to bed early for a change! Tis just about eleven.. I'd like to be in REM by midnight! ... if that's possible. I don't remember how fast it takes to get to REM state sleep..

Anywho, good night! :)

I know I said I wasn't inspired...

But that was yesterday. And now it's today, and I'm bored, so I'm gonna blog. Because really, that's about it on what I can do.

Right now I'm working for my mom for Disney's "give a day, get a day" deal. We've been collecting books for about four hours now from people that have signed up. We still have another hour.

Up until now, I've been knitting in between people arriving. I felt bad last night about having no inspiration, so I went through my various magazines and such (again.... I did it last weekend as well) to hopefully find a nice stitch to use for my yarn I brought home. I accidentally left last week's sample at school, so had nothing to do at home.

I don't like to be idle.

So I got to my last magazine - of course it was the last one! - and found some lace patterns. I've been too intimidated to try lace much... There's not a lot of repetition in lace in one row, let alone in the sometimes sixteen-row repeat pattern. But I found an easy four-row repeat, and so that's what I've been doing, both last night and today during this book drive.

Um. What else? Oh! I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother last night where Ted's students make a drinking game out of Robin's tv show... They drink every time she says "but, um". I was obviously not awake this morning, as I was playing something similar with my coffee. I had the Disney playlist going, and Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life for Me was going. I dared myself to drink a sip of coffee every time they sang "drink up, me hearties, yo ho!". I realized within 30 seconds or so that I would be extremely hyper and run out of coffee quickly if I continued in this vein. But for that first minute or so, I was very amused.

Also...... I am in fact a true 90s kid. My mom has Capri Sun in her office, and I was able to get the straw in on the first go. I am very proud of this fact.

Only 35 minutes left. *sigh*

TTYL!

Wow, it's been a while.

I guess I haven't really been inspired to blog lately. Plenty has happened, though, so I guess I'll give a short update.

- Gary's 50's bday came and went. We had a get-together the weekend after. Lauren and I went to Disneyland for a short time on the actual day of his birth.
- Ernest and I have been going out 3 months. :)
- School started up again. I'm in six classes this semester. It should be ... not easy, but manageable. Hopefully. With the production, one never knows. Last year, I had four, including the show. Now I'll have five, PLUS the show. We'll see what happens.
- I've also not been knitting as much as normal. This is really somewhat disappointing. I just haven't had any inspiration. Is getting back into the swing of school a damper of this kind of thing? This happened after the summer, as well. Hm.

I suppose that's it. I've had a lot on my mind, but I don't know how to put it into words. I think.

I'm going to go now. xoxo

On the Road

We're back in California. Granted, we're five minutes over the border, but it still counts. :)

I don't get bored very easily. I can only think of two times I've consciously thought that. And I know that's all that I've thought it cuz I'm always so shocked at myself. Despite the fact that I'll bitch that I have nothing to do, I always do. If nothing else, I'll daydream. I'm good at that. ;) I enjoy thinking of any ways that various situations could go down. They never do, but at least I'm prepared.

I was thinking about what I could do after graduating, knowing myself and my personality as well as I do. My mother says I am an excellent writer. I like to believe that this is true. I've daydreamed about being a novelist. Do I think I could actually keep myself entertained for a whole book of creation? No. The way I think is more in a staged format. Blame it on the many many plays I've seen, whatever. Thinking realistically, I could find myself entranced with writing one act plays or short stories. I love making up detailed histories for my characters, even if I never get a chance to use all that information. It's like I'm a biographer and a psychologist all at once- I know how my people react, and why they do so. Now, going with my other degree. I could join the millions of people out here longing to become actors. I could keep up my extras jobs. I probably will. Despite the mistreatment I suffered at Greek, I still think being an extra is a really easy way to make money. Of course, once I'm in the real world, this opinion could change drastically, but it'd be fun to keep doing. My original goal was to become a Broadway actress, you know. I would have such a blast in that. I am not the worlds best singer, I know. I couldn't even get into Reflections while at LAB, for goodness' sakes. And I cannot dance. Is it too late to begin or resume those lessons? I don't know.

I've just got word that we have three more hours on the road. Hooray.

Of course, I could combine my majors and write plays for the rest of my life. The only thing I have a problem with is that i've somehow picked the two majors in the world where it's hardest to be "discovered". I'm only nineteen, and in school. I know this, yet it doesn't relieve my fears that I'll just end up in a 9-5 job like someone who just gave up. I'm on good terms with at least ... four published authors. I could hopefully get agent and publisher information from them. I do have one poem published in print, but it was one of those website scams to make money, and mine was one of those randomly chosen.

I just realized that this is the second post in two days about not knowing how to advance myself somehow. If you have any ideas about either issue, please let me know.

Arizona Post Number Two

I just made a sock. Yes, just one. Lol!

I made a sock before. Again, only one. I hated the yarn when I was finished, so I haven't yet psyched myself up enough to go back to it. But this.. Oh, this is nice. 50/50 acrylic and nylon. Normally I love the natural fibers as opposed to manmade ones, but this is so nice and soft and easy to work with, i think I'll make an exception. ;)

And it was oh so easy! I've lost my fear of dpn's (double pointed needles), so that wasn't a problem. I chose a really repetitive stitch (knit 2, purl 2, repeat repeat repeat...) and a number of stitches that made so it would look nice instead of all screwy. As well as fit my foot, of course. I chose to not use a heel on this, because they really just complicate things. I'm fine wearing the tube sock I finished not half an hour ago. It's a pretty purple. The picture I took makes it look more blueish, so maybe I'll post it on facebook, maybe not. Probably when I have both done and I'm making my "winter break" album. Yeah.

Ummm. That's really about it. For right now, anywho. K bye. :)

I'm bored.

And stuck outside of our hotel room. For some reason or other, the door won't open. So y'all get to see my half-awake musings til my mom comes back with a new key.

I just saw someone downstairs that looked almost exactly like one of my aquaintances from my graduating high school. He was a sophomore when I was a senior, and sometimes a jerk, but nicer than the majority of the people there. I actually existed to him. Which is really more than I can say for my classmates.

To them, I was just an answer key. If I was even there, of course. Never mind about my own work or anything in my personal life. If I gave them the answer, I was a cheat to half of them, and if I didn't, I was a prude to the rest of them.

See why I love college so much more than high school?

Um. Okay. Let's see. We're back in the room, but I'm gonna keep going.

We're in Phoenix, AZ to celebrate Gary's 50th out here with his parents and a few of his brothers. Next weekend is the celebration at my house. Should be fun.

On a completely separate note: I cannot wait to go back to school! I have really missed my friends and the hustle and bustle around campus. I may be antisocial, but I LOVE being around people. I get too inside my thoughts and too into my home and stuff when I'm by myself. This is not a bad thing, but I do get a bit stir crazy after a few days.

I told my parents that I'd like to be more active when on campus. They suggested bringing my bike back. I said Hell No! Firstly, I have no idea where i'd put it. Second, I don't know where I'd ride it. Thirdly, I don't know when I'll have time. And fourth, I don't have NEARLY enough stamina for that to be a good idea. I love riding my bike when I can- but those are always short rides, like around the neighborhood for maybe forty five minutes, stopping every so often for water or shade. I'd like to improve this, really, but I either don't know how or have simply grown too lazy to continue my exercise plans. I used to be really athletic, you know. I could run really fast and beat out the guys in whatever- I was taking ice skating lessons- I took karate... Then it went downhill. I got pneumonia in the sixth grade, which started the whole deal when I couldn't run for very long without being completely out of breath. Ice skating stopped when I was practicing stopping (which was simply opening my skates quickly and gathering some ice on either side) and toppled over. I hit my head. Actually, my glasses intimately met my skull. They glued me back together in the ER. Karate lasted a long while - I started in when I was eleven, got my black belt at fourteen, took a year's break, and went back to my dojo to assistant teach for a year and a half. I stopped that cuz I was going into my senior year and had to concentrate on my schoolwork.

So yeah, there's a bunch of random history of mine. Enjoy. Let me know what you think. All that jazz.

I finished the shawl last night. It IS so so sooooo glorious. <3 now to work on either the autumn scarf I brought, or the tube socks I've been working on.

Okay... TTYL!! :)

Hey all

Not to make too big an issue of it- but I am so very tired. Today is the third day in a row that I've had to get up at least three hours before my normal wake-up time, and I made the unfortunate decision two nights out of three to go to bed at my normal time. Ugh. Not fun.

The first day I had to go to a glass repair shop cuz some jerk broke a window in my car- that little one that just seems to be there in the back? Yeah. So that was done by eleven. I spent the rest of the day in a daze... But that lifted somewhat when I got called by my service and told that I was booked for a job!! I was soo excited! Finally, some money, and something to put on my resume!

Day two, I woke up and put on my finest "graduation" wear. I was a student on Greek, and got one of the fancy graduation robes. Which meant that I got to be closer to the cameras. Yay! It shot at CSUN, so that was a nice drive. The job started off great, but when we didn't get any water for five hours, we got a little cranky. Not to mention no food til the very very end of the day. Also- heels in mud is not fun. I kept sinking and getting stuck when the camera was not rolling. Yanking my good heels out of the dirt and grass outside the CSUN library is not that fun, surprisingly, even if I was getting paid for it.

I met some really nice people. One of the PAs put me in a clump with these two women in their fifties- Nancy and Karen. He then said we were supposed to be sisters, but once he was out of earshot, the three of us nixed that and decided that they were my lesbian moms and I was their turkey baster baby, carried by Karen. Later on, Nancy "left" Karen for some guy, and the two of us gained my "second cousin twice removed" "boyfriend", George. He was a nice guy. Quiet, and I think gay, but he automatically became cool when he told me he used to work for Disney. He kept "leaving" me for other girls to walk around the graduation with. Ah well. ;) I worked eight hours yesterday, and can't wait for more jobs. The episode is the season (and, I hear, series) finale of Greek. It should be epic. ;)

Today I had to wake up early so we could get on the road to Arizona. We should be there in about an hour. The whole trip, I've been working on a shawl. It's getting rather glorious, I must say. I'd been saving the yarn for something really nice, and I'm glad I chose this. It's this nice silk-wool blend in a kind of silver lavender periwinkle. <3 Again, soooo very glorious. :)

I'm gonna play I Spy now. K bye!

Karma

I really believe in karma.

My feelings will (and do) flip flop on other forms of spiritual and otherworldly guidance. But karma has a set feel to it. I enjoy knowing that no matter what happens, negative people will get their due, as will positive people.

I truly try to not demean people - to accept them for who they are, despite any differences in opinion that we may have. Of course, I'm not a saint. I have never proclaimed to be one. I have lost quite a few friends over the past four years, and I cannot understand why. I do not pretend to say that since I do not know why, it is completely their fault. No. It is just when someone is catty and mean that I will not put much stock in their opinion anymore. And, well, since I live in the most superficial town in the world, maybe this is a negative effect. Maybe I've a personality quirk that drives these people away. Maybe they just pick up on my disdain for their shallow behavior. I don't know.

I do know - and here, relating to the beginning of the post - that those people who have deliberately and repeatedly put me down: Brittany and Nicole, for example - they will get their due reward.

This is why I'm content to wait. I know that people who take the high road can be infuriating to those who do not. Not to mention, what would I be if I stooped to their level for petty and personal revenge for things that happened even years ago?

Okay. My philisophical mood is ebbing. Time to end the post.

Best karma to you all! :)